Il Pirata and the things we do for socks

And so another year passes, and another Pantani is ridden.

I would normally excuse my late-ness with a whiny complaint about how much that ride hurt, but in the spirit of il pirata, let's just say I've been busy at a 'clinic' getting my 'nutrition' ready for the grand tours.

Rolling into the Tevendale Homestead in the morning, we got our bikes out and suited up in our Mercatone Uno tribute kits, did a few lines of tribute coke. One of those things is true.

I missed most of the pre-ride riders' eulogy (death awaits on that mountain), due to a last minute batman tire pressure check. Unfortunately, I've never been good at the whole 'type-a' thing, so I wound up toodling over to the start as the powers-that-would-be proclaimed that the ride had begun. 48 miles of sometimes 200rpms and sometimes walking later I was tired and trying not to get smoke in my eyes. The fire pit/fire wood situation at the TevenCompound really needs some game-upping.

That was a terribly brief description of the ride. Let's call that the cliff notes "lite."

The cliff notes version:

• Rolled at the front -casual 200rpms- to the first grade on Davis Shop, them some asshole (Bryan Lewis?) attacked the il Pirata-don himself and upped the pace. A cadence of 250 is a little beyond me.
• Leisurely drifted back to 30th or so on the Col-du-Fox, then settled into a 'grupetto' for the road section to Marmolada, where I attacked, dropped my bro Zülle, and finally got the maglia rosa during which I burned way to many proverbial matches keeping up with my derailleur-clad brethren of the road.
• Got to see several friendly faces riding up the Mission Home climb. One friendly Design Physics couplet (todd and plassman?) and one short-bearded Metro riding in his traditional style: solo.

Marco Pantani

• 

  Metro Pantani- The resemblance is uncanny

  At the start of Simmon's Gap, I came upon one "Downtown" Lester Brown having arrived late and taken his Pro Team Bus to the start of the first climb. He's a sponsored pro now. Must be nice. I hope I'm still faster than him...
• Having done unspeakable things to my body on the voyage to the tippity top o' the pop, I began descending and immediately came upon and freshly "KTFO" rider on a 30second memory loop. Stayed with Plassman the Medic until SAG arrived (what kind of unofficial hard-man's ride has SAG anyway. Refer to rule #5). Rallied. Descended.
• Brokenback Mountain consisted of very little riding for me. maybe 10%. Apparently it's steep? Who knew.
• Back at the top o' the pop again, but in significantly worse shape, I imbibed half of a Brooklyn Brewery chocolate stout and 4 munchkins. Race nutrition y'all.
• Witnessed a second wreck near the bottom of Simmons, though this time the bicycle-driver performed some sort of mid-road-rash levitation which allowed him to run away from his bike. He was hooting in pain, so perhaps not as magical as it could have been, but he still went from sliding-under-bike to jogging away in one graceful maneuver. Bikes=Magic.

The rest of the ride and day is a blur of Quadsworth preaching the gospel, Nachos, and Cramps, so there's not much else to describe. Something about pink knitted stockings, but I think those are mythic.

I blame the TevenSmoke™for the lengthy delay in this post. 

Seriously promoters <Cat5ComplaintRant> straighten that out.

AVL, or the little city that rides like a big one

Asheville is great, and by Asheville, I mean specifically the riding that can be had in Dupont and Pisgah, the sleep at the Bent Creek Lodge, and the food at Tupelo Honey Cafe. If you're a proprietor of one of those fine establishments, email me to discuss my advertising fees.

Saturday we rode from the Turkey Pen trailhead. Up a long steep dirt road is a pretty sophisticated trailhead, with 4 options and a big map board. Pisgah is giant, and the loop we were looking at seemed tiny compared to the expanse of the forest. 4 hours of snowy cursing, muddy rock gardens, and waning daylight later, we put our muddy bikes on the car, and thanked our lucky (and now visible) stars to have survived an "epic" ride unscathed.

Squirrel Gap was a little squirrelly and a lot snowy. The 2 hour loop took 4 hours.

Dupont has every trail surface and every difficulty level you could ask for. As the locals reassured us several times, it's the best riding in WNC when the ground is wet, and I mostly agree. Some of the less-sandy sections were a little peanut-butter-y, but for the most part the trail seemed very stable and sustainable. Dupont is very hardtail (rigid, even) friendly (though we avoided the gnarliest trails, due to icy/slick conditions) and all of the downhills flow amazingly well. The first singletrack we encountered was the Hilltop Trail, which primed us for a fun day. Even the short and seemingly uninteresting trails rode exceedingly well, fun rolling and well bermed turns were everywhere. As you can see here, we meandered all across the park, and got to ride up most of the hills Dupont offers. The park is just so big, complex, and well developed (sounds like a fine wine) that you'd have to ride several iterations of every different loop to really get all of the trail, and from the sounds of it, it's all worth riding.

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what a terrible view

It wasn't muddy at all, I swear.

Dupont had the best signage and upkeep
of any trail system I've seen

We stayed at Bent Creek Lodge, and came close to calling it a religious experience. It was fantastic.

Just go stay there.

The third side of the Asheville love triangle was the Tupelo Honey Cafe.
Free Biscuits. Amazing Food. Great Service. Cheap.
Everything that is good about the South.

For those of you that prefer a TL;DR: Go to Asheville. Now.

Rainpants

As a friend of mine recently wrote, when bike commuting, the weather is rarely as bad as it seems once you get rolling. For those that wish to replace the climate-controlled convenience of a car, sometimes it really is "that bad". For those times, there's rain pants.

Move the hyphen and is Aqua No-Pants

Rain pants are to cycling as the cover is to a Jeep. Usually, you don't need it, and you have lots of fun. When the weather gets nasty, if you don't have it, suddenly the fun evaporates and the misery sets in. Just visualize a cyclist in the rain, and the first thing that pops into your head probably makes you feel bad for whatever schmuck is slogging their way to work on their ill-fitting Next with their ratty Jansport backpack in the pouring rain.

Add rain pants to the mix, and BAM you've got a sophisticated cyclist using his self-powered transportation as the leatherman of commuting tools. No waiting at the bus stop with an umbrella or spending the day in wet socks for this guy. He's the spitting image of dedication and preparedness, and it only took $40 bucks and 3 minutes.

One shouldn't have to follow rule #5 when commuting. It should be as casual and convenient as the car, with the added benefits of exercise, scenery, and fun times.

Next topic: Rain pants as a fashion statement.